Week 1, Day 1

Sometimes you feel like a butt, sometimes you don't. Yesterday, I did. But that doesn't mean I didn't get after it! I was too excited not to.

I have set up my weight workouts in such a way that will challenge all the metabolic pathways in an effort improve maximal strength, power, and general fitness level. I'll try not to get into too much of the science of metabolism, but it may be helpful to check out this page for a brief overview. Email me or do some research yourself if you're still curious. If you couldn't care less, just trust me that training the proper pathway(s) can make reaching your goals a lot easier. The real point to this training program is to see if it's possible to improve "all of the above" at the same time.

Each day will consist 3-4 sets of a main exercise using either a max effort (M.E.) reverse reverse pyramid training scheme, or a dynamic effort (D.E.; maximal speed to develop power). You'll soon see how these two styles compliment each other in an effort to improve efficiency of the phosphagen and glycolitic pathways. Next, I'll do 3-4 sets of 6-10 reps of an auxilary exercise. These shouldn't be easy, but my primary focus will be form and control, and working the glycolitic pathway. I will rest 2-3 minutes between all sets to allow the working muscles to fill with glycogen (energy). After a 5-10 minute rest, I will perform a 5-12 minute "metcon" that differs from the rest of the program in that the combination of exercises and reps is picked at random. This is at 100% effort and the goal here is to improve the anabolic threshold (the point at which the body produces lactic acid faster than it can remove it, resulting in fatigue). If you're confused, just relax; the template of programming will become more clear as I post the daily workouts. Without further ado, here are the results from yesterday at 4:30PM:

• Dynamic warmup - soon I'll explain the importance of a dynamic warmup and what I generally do to prepare for a workout so I don't hurt myself (probably after a rest day)
• M.E. high bar back squat to 10" box - 315 x 4, 290 x 5, 270 x 7
• Romanian dead lift with controlled eccentric phase - 185 x 10, 205 x 8, 225 x 6
• Metcon: 15-12-9-6-3 - Time: 5:01
• Jumprope double-unders (x2, i.e., 30-24-etc.)
• Double KB (35#) front squats

That's it. I pushed myself through the sluggishness for 45 minutes and I am pretty happy with the results. Only going up, baby! I took 10g BCAAs beforehand to limit muscle breakdown, but that only equals about 40 calories and they taste absolutely terrible so they don't count. I didn't eat a real meal until 6:30PM, which amounted to a 20 hour fast. I focused on quality protein and limiting fat intake. I still have plenty of glycogen in the reserves from last week so I didn't include very many carbs yesterday, but I'll ramp those up on weight days as needed.

6:30PM - 2 seasoned chicken breasts; steamed asparagus and tomatoes with coconut oil; 2 sweet potatoes with cinnamon and a handful of mixed berries.

8:30PM - ~4 oz. all natural deli turkey breast with 1/4 of an avocado; 3 boiled egg whites; steamed broccoli, carrots, and spinach; one can of beets with white vinegar. I also took my daily vitamins (ALIVE Daily Energy multivitamin, 2000I.U. vitamin D3, and 6g fish oil containing 4.5g DHA/EPA).

That may look like a lot, but it's nothing compared to what I expect to require on most days. If I eat too few calories, I will burn out quickly. Potatoes (of all varieties) are going to be my main source of carbohydrate, so expect to see them by the plateful in the future. 

I slept from 10:30PM to 6:30AM, and headed out for my first of 3 "cardio" sessions per week. (On a side-note, sleep is more important than you think. Don't be an asshole and stay up watching adult programming every night. That's what DVR is for.) Cardio sessions will contain either sprint intervals continuous high intensity for 16-20 minutes on the treadmill or Concept2 rower. This combination should harmoniously challenge the glycolitic and oxidative metabolic pathways. This morning I ran at 6mph and 6% grade for 16 minutes. I'm a little sore already, but I'm feeling a lot less sluggish than I was yesterday. I'm currently sipping on some BCAAs and will probably eat a small meal around 2:30 so I can make it through the 2nd workout this afternoon. That's all for today, folks. I raise my awful tasting glass and cheers to improving health!

This video has nothing to do with fitness or nutrition, but it is totally badass anyway.

Back on the wagon (with NSFW-ish pics!)

I tend not to focus much on "scale weight." The scale is far too dependent on my hydration status, whether or not I've taken my morning dump, etc. Regardless, staying within an appropriate "range" is important, so I'll be posting weights and pictures every Monday for the duration of this program. Last week I weighed in at 169 and looked like this:

In anticipation for the program and in true American fashion, I really took advantage of my last couple days of "diet freedom." I intended to take more photos, but for the most I was too busy stuffing my face to bother with such silly things.

There's a little shout out to Sticky Lips and Dunkin' Donuts, but the real heroes are salt, sugar, and general food processing. I took the pictures below this morning. I actually laughed out loud when the scale read 182.4 - needless to say this is not within my appropriate range. Is there any wonder why we live in the fattest country on earth? Behold the power of inflammation!

A 13.4 pound difference in under a week is pretty outrageous even for me. I'm thinking of sending these pictures to the producers of Law & Order: SVU in hopes of landing the role of "bloated dead guy." I'm holding so much fluid I felt like I was washing someone else's face in the shower this morning. As bad as I look, I think I feel worse. I purposely wanted to come into this out of shape so that I can show you what a difference a clean diet and a little effort in the gym can make. Granted, that's not all fat weight, but if you've been eating a steady diet of processed grains (even the championed WHOLE grains are processed and terrible for you), chances are you can blame some of your jiggly parts on bloating too. I challenge you to eliminate grains, legumes and dairy for a month along with me. I guarantee you'll be amazed at the results.

Fortunately for me, today is the official Day 1 of the rebound. Get me a vegetable, STAT! Since I'll mostly be working out and eating later in the day I'll probably be a day behind on the logs, i.e., I'll post today's stuff tomorrow, tomorrow's stuff the next day, etc., but rest assured - it's coming. Please feel free to post questions or comments. Thanks for reading!

Testing results and intro to BEAST MODE

In Friday's post I mentioned that I was doing some beseline testing over the last week. My program for the next couple months is focused on improving each of these numbers, so I will post my result from last week followed by my goal for the retesting period 10 weeks from now.

Squat (10" box): 335 / 380
Military press: 180 / 200
Dead lift: 485 / 500
Clean: 235 / 275
Bench press: 275 / 300
Weighted chinup: 169 BW + 100 = 269 / 300

SEAL fitness test: This test has prescribed rest periods so the individual tests became more difficult as I tired. I won't be working to improve these numbers specifically but this tests my overall fitness level, which should improve with training. The actual BUD/S test has a 500yd swim, but since I don't have access to a pool I replaced it with a 2k row.

2k row: 7:20 / 7:00
10 min rest
2 min pushups: 94 / 104
2 min rest
2 min situps: 89 / 100
2 min rest
Max strict pullups: 14 / 20
10 min rest
1.5 mile run: 10:55 / 9:45

My training will consist of 3 high-intensity "cardio" workouts (Tu/Th/Sat mornings) and 4 "weights" (M/Tu/Th/F afternoons) workouts per week for 4 weeks. I will de-load for a week and then resume the same schedule for 4 more weeks. After another de-load week, I'll do the tests again. My plan for the diet, at least for the first 4 weeks, is an unmeasured "Paleo"-style diet, which disallows grains, dairy, and legumes (including peanut butter!).  I intend to focus on high protein/carbs and lower fat on "weights" days (lean meats/potatoes and fruits), and high protein/fat with limited carbs on the 3 other days (fatty meats, eggs, non-starchy veggies). I'll eat until I'm satisfied - no more, no less. I'll be posting my workouts and food consumption daily, so you'll get a better feel for what I'm trying to do as the weeks progress.

I will continue fasting at least 16 hours a day, with an eating window between 2:30PM-10:30PM. To prevent muscle-wasting during this period of high-volume training, I will use a branched-chain amino acid supplement during my fasting periods (http://www.musclefeast.com/). Other than that, I'll only be taking a multi-vitamin, fish oil capsules, and a vitamin D supplement with my dinner.

With all that said, I'm going to crush bad food all day today :) Stay tuned for pics!



Megasaurus?

Welcome! If you're a first time visitor to the page, hang tight - I will address you in a minute. 

First I must apologize to the select few Kurty-lovers for my extended absence from the blogosphere. I suppose a "short break" lasted a little longer than I expected. If you've never broken routine for some time and, perhaps after a few lame attempts (or none at all) to reestablish said routine, exclaimed "fuck it!," then the hat's off to ya. On second thought, I'm leaving my hat on because I don't have respect for liars. Everybody knows the wagon is fast; once you fall off it usually takes more than some B.S. "I wills" to jump back on. Often people find strength through a loved one ("Your meth addiction is affecting our relationship."), their boss ("Get your shit together or you're fired."), or a snickering stranger ("Dude, check out that fat fuck eating KFC. His sweatpants have stains on them."). Regardless of its origin, that little extra push is known colloquially as a good-old fashioned ass kickin'. I'll admit, I came to enjoy the extra 20 minutes a day I had "not blogging," and much to my surprise, y'all were not beating down my door with your boots on. But the truth is, I really do enjoy spilling my thoughts on here, and sometimes in cases like these, you just have to man the fuck up and kick your own ass - and also say sorry when it's due. So that's what I'm doing. Please kindly accept a heartfelt apology and a welcome back to Bushido.

And now for the newbies: you probably read that last paragraph even though the apology wasn't for you. That's ok. Hopefully you learned a nice life lesson or two. In addition, I trust you're now well-acquainted with my vulgar and satirical vernacular so there should be no more surprises there. Please read the "About Me" section for a brief introduction to my philosophies on fitness and nutrition and feel free to check out the "2011 Archives" for some free learnin'. I am by no means an expert but I definitely know some shit that you probably don't yet.

So anyway, what's up? Feeling bad about giving up on your New Year's resolution to eat right, and NOT waste your gym membership fee? You're not alone. I don't make resolutions like that because I'm not lazy and generally enjoy those things, but while I've been avoiding writing about exercise and proper nutrition I've also been pretty much avoiding exercise and proper nutrition altogether. Here's a quick rundown of my life over the last 2 months or so: To be fair, I've actually been to the gym pretty regularly but workouts have been affected by a serious case of fuckarounditis. If you didn't know, fuckarounditis is a common side effect of "eating like an asshole." The typical food bombardment that occurs during the end-of-year holidays is heavily magnified for a food addict of my caliber. The war puns are intended; I'm talking WWIII level shit. There were Reese's peanut butter trees everywhere but nowhere to hide. After a few days of reconciliation to start the new year I spent the second week of January at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, which I can't won't describe in detail due to alcoholic haze in order to maintain my PG-13 rating. Now, one might think my gaining 12 pounds in 7 days would disgust me enough to end this nonsense, but I am experiencing serious ripple effect (both figuratively, and literally when I flick my gut). Less than 24 hours ago I polished off  the better half of a bag of pistachios and enough peanut butter to cancel snack time for a week. 


Finally, I've ended up here. After months of abuse I feel like a straight up turd, and enough is enough. I'm about to take this ass-kicking thing to a whole new level (re-read the title: mega-sore-ass). I'm ready to eat some real food (this includes plants and animals, and very little else.) and I've put together a nice little remedy for my workout woes, which I'll be following for the next couple months. I don't expect to be perfect, but I'll be chronicling it all here in order to maintain accountability. If I eat it, drink it, or fail to lift it, it's going on the page. That's for my own benefit. Your benefit is an in-depth lesson on "how to beast mode," along with some au-natural food porn and a few topless pics of yours truly (Disclaimer: PICTURES WILL NOT CONTAIN PUBES).


I guess that's all I have for today. I have been using this week to establish baseline numbers for my workouts, which I'll post tomorrow. On Monday I will begin logging the workouts and food and post a "before" picture. If you're lucky and I suck, I will eat a whole bunch of inflammatory shit this weekend and give you a nice shot of a blurry 4-pack. Giddy up!

This guy's not fucking around, and neither am I.