Cholesterol? More like BROlesterol!

***Today's post will (probably) be boring but (hopefully) somewhat relative and informative. I've got something more exciting in the works and will do my best to get it out to ya next week. But until then, I'd like to discuss something that has been irking me for a while, and I sort of feel it is my duty to explain a little bit. Proceed with caution. By the way, you'll notice I rarely provide sources. This is because it is mostly info I've picked up along the way, and any chump can put a blog on the internet so there's no real need to cover my ass; I promise the peer-reviewed research is out there if you look for it.***

Anyone who's spent much time around me knows I eat my share of - and this is by no means the unabridged list - beef, whole eggs, butter, organ meats (specifically liver), etc. I am relatively "fit," especially by American standards, so I tend to field a lot of comments about the fat and specifically the cholesterol content of what I am eating. I have absolutely no qualms about answering questions from the legitimately interested, but occasionally the comments display with objection or even horror. Usually in those cases I'll just shrug it off or say "well, this is what I like." And that's true - I do like those things. But very often the judgment comes from the mouth of someone who A.) knows considerably less than I on the subject of nutrition in general, B.) is shapelier than I and C.) actually has a lower total serum cholesterol level than I (an astonishing 302 mg/dl!). Now, I've got no real reason to get on the defensive and I am hardly worried about my lipid panel, but I have spent a lot of time and effort to put my mind and body in its current state so naturally it's a bit bothersome to face animosity from some wet-behind-the ears chubber. Pardon the insensitivity, but really, if you don't know what you're talking about, why even comment? (Shit, I hope about 97% of my Facebook friends read this and take that sentence to heart). I'm very opinionated by nature and I'm actually a decent living-room Jeopardy player, but you can be fairly certain to count me out of conversations regarding things unfamiliar, such as Middle Eastern history, investment banking, and burning dog poo and the human response...Okay, so maybe I know a thing or two about that last one.

Mad cholesterol, yo.

Anyway, the effects of cholesterol on our health is a tricky subject that we should all know a little bit about, yet very few of us actually do. Scary thing is, there are literally millions of Americans taking cholesterol-lowering medications and really have no idea why. A lot of the specific mechanisms are unclear to me as too (I'm no genius), but I'd like to give a my layman rundown as I understand it. As always, I'll try to avoid geek-speak but will inevitably provide a few head scratchers. I apologize in advance and we can hug it out later if need be.

Cholesterol serves many important functions in the body. The waxy steroid fat manufactured by every mammalian cell helps cells maintain proper temperature, permeability, and fluidity. Humans and other vertibrates produce most cholesterol in the liver, which is then used to synthesize a number of critical hormones and perform other various tasks throughout the body. The average person produces about 1 gram per day and houses about 35 grams total. For whatever reason, American guidelines recommend limiting intake to 300mg/day (less than the amount in 2 egg yolks and 30% of what is ALREADY VITAL to synthesize). In addition, most cholesterol in animal-based food products has reacted with a fatty acid to form an ester. Esterified cholesterol is very poorly absorbed. Even further, the body reduces it's cholesterol synthesis to compensate for any that does get absorbed from food. Lesson #1: eat your yolks.

The heart of the issue here (see what I did there?!) is that cholesterol isn't actually a cause of heart disease; people with "poor lipid panels" are just displaying an antimicrobial defense symptom for some other underlying cause. I've found doctors tend to like writing prescriptions treat symptoms; I like the analogy of buying a washing machine for a bedwetter. Kind of silly. The base lipid panel - total cholesterol, LDL-C, HDL-C, triglycerides - can give you some idea of potential disease risk, but there are definitely some flaws in that methodology as well.

This is a somewhat crude and grossly simplified analogy, but I think it really helps with perspective: think of your blood vessels as rivers. The lipoproteins colloquially known as HDL and LDL are the boats in the rivers, while cholesterol and triglycerides (which are the circulating fat energy source) are cargo that are transported on the boats from the liver (shipping center) to various cells or back to the liver for excretion or re-utilization. Free radicals are like pirates that damage (oxidize) the boats and cargo, and anti-oxidants are protection officers against the pirates. The lipid panel measures the total cargo, but the main main factor that causes heart disease is the total amount of (oxidative) damage done by pirates, which is influenced by the number of boats, pirates, and protection officers (basic probability) and the size of those boats. Big boats are "intimidating" in this example. HDL are the biggest boats, and are often considered "good cholesterol" because they can use some of their deck space to bring damaged cargo back to the liver for fixin'. There are various levels of LDL particle size - which is strongly correlated with triglyceride number due to storage space - and that matters because the smaller ones are the most prone to damage. Particle size is not represented in your LDL-C number.

A heavily magnified view of the inside of your carotid artery.

Still following? That got a little more abstract than I anticipated, but the premise should still be pretty clear. Now, a main factor in both LDL particle count and particle size is how well your various cells can utilize the cholesterol on them. All cells have LDL and fat receptors that signal for the boats to stop and unload the cholesterol and triglycerides so that they can go to work within the cell. But those signals can malfunction due to lifestyle or genetic factors (metabolic syndrome and insulin resistance - high-carbers will use circulating glucose before triglycerides, thyroid damage, infection/inflammation, mutation of specific gene coding, etc.), and when that occurs the cargo remains on the boat and continues circulating in your blood rivers, vulnerable to pirate attack. Since there's more cargo being produced than is used, the liver needs to produce more boats to carry it. The size of the new boats is based largely on what dietary feedback. There are factors that increase the number of pirates too: stress - including smoking, too much exercise, too little sleep, environmental toxins, etc; poor intake of anti-oxidant rich foods (remember the protection officers); high intake of polyunsaturated fats (in particular, omega-6 linoleic acid) - which are very unstable and as a result often form free radicals during metabolism. Are we getting the picture? Raise your hand if you're asleep.

In summary, cholesterol in you blood is a symptom that can predict your risk of heart disease, but only eating and sleeping better, managing stress, and exercising a proper amount treat the underlying issues causing the symptom. Those recommendations are nothing new. Personally I try to do those things as best I can. But surely that amount of cholesterol in my blood requires lots of boats, so why am I not worried? Let's look at the recommended levels and compare hypothetical person A's results against my own (B) numbers from March of 2012 (note that the addition will be close but not exact, because the numbers are actually calculated based on other feedback from the blood test - yet another flaw):

Total cholesterol: A - 192, B - 301
LDL - C: A - 144, B - 189
HDL - C: A - 47, B - 98

Trigs: A - 148, B - 45

A doctor would likely tell person A that her numbers look pretty good, but her LDL-C is borderline high; "dial back on cholesterol and saturated fat" and that she should be just fine. However, she has a low percentage of total cargo on big HDL boats, and a not insignificant number of triglycerides taking up space, ultimately requiring more LDL boats to carry the cholesterol. Based on these numbers one could surmise she may have some minor LDL receptor defect and she has some issues clearing triglycerides (perhaps she eats a decent amount of carbohydrates). Her VAP test (test for LDL particle size - NOT standard, you'll pay extra for this one) would likely reveal a lot of smaller LDL boats.

In contrast, I have a VERY high TC, LDL-C, and HDL-C, while triglycerides are EXTREMELY low. I suppose this could indicate some LDL receptor impairment, but is much more likely a result of genetics and lifestyle. For the record, research has shown that high intake of certain saturated fatty acids can increase HDL-C independently or both HDL-C and LDL-C in certain individuals, but neither situation has any correlation with actual heart disease risk. My results show a good portion of my total cargo is on relatively safe HDL boats, and even though there is a lot of cholesterol on the LDL boats, there aren't many triglycerides on them (why? because I used them for fuel!). High HDL-C and low triglycerides usually indicates mostly large LDL particles, which we discussed are less prone to oxidative damage. All of this means the relatively high LDL-C can still fit on less total LDL boats!

So whose risk is higher? It's really impossible to tell based on the standard lipid panel, but somehow, a high TC and LDL-C is taboo enough that my doctor recommended I start taking statins at the ripe old age of 25. He went to medical school and I did not, but before I went and obliged to taking something unnecessary (and potentially harmful!), I made sure I did my due diligence and ended up learning all of this shit about boats. A little responsibility to take a deeper look made my numbers look a lot less scary. The bottom line is, you guys, that you have to take charge of your own fate. If you care about something, do your own research and get informed. If you don't, leave it alone and stop commenting about my intake of red meat.

Now go and lift some heavy shit!

Life just got so much simpler.

Have you ever reacted to something with unexpectedly strong feelings, to the point of realizing that those must have been your subconscious feelings all along? Today while doing my usual Facebook trolling, I encountered posts by two completely unrelated people on the topic of food and diet choices and naturally formed an opinion right away - it's a blessing and a curse, I tell ya! Neither had a particularly stronger effect on me than the other posts I run into along those lines on a daily basis, but thinking about them after the fact produced a bit of an epiphany that I would be remiss to let go undocumented. Plus, it might make sense to occasionally write some stuff that's relevant to people other than myself. I will do my best to protect the innocent.

The first was a link to this article. The author Jane Lear's (features director at Martha Stewart Living) root agenda here is that the "Paleo Diet" is not supported by science; that humans evolved because of our flexibility to eat new things. She claims we are the 'ready-for-anything species,' and our ancestors adapted to an ever-changing landscape, just as we have recently - to dairy, grains, legumes, etc. Lear interviewed evolutionary biologist Marlene Zuk and she had this to say: "You cannot assume that it’s impossible for us to change. Sometimes evolution is slow, sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it’s in between. The poster child for quick evolution in humans is dairy tolerance.”

I had mixed feelings, and to be honest I agreed with the majority of the author's claims. Zuk's quote was kind of spot on - not everyone is tolerant of dairy but not everyone isn't. One thing that really stood out to me was the statement, "As far as I’m concerned, the idea that there is essentially one Paleo Diet is up there with the equally ill-founded notion that there is one cuisine that defines India, say, or China." I guess I've always agreed with that. It seems like most people who act holier than thou because they're "strict paleo" are the same ones who order coconut oil and grass-fed beef online because coconuts don't grow where they live and they're too afraid to actually kill something. That's not paleo at all. And if we're talking about 2+ million years of evolution, what percentage of those hominids were pressing olive oil and pouring it over leafy greens?

"You wash your hair, bro? So not Paleo."

So the thought provoked was this: this is 2013, we're not cavemen, and there are no bonus points for living in a cave, rubbing sticks together and eating termites. To borrow a quote from Chris Kresser: "The Paleo Diet is a means to an end, not an end in itself." To me this article is a classic example of missing that point. It's not just the opposition, though; advocates can be just as bad. The purpose is not to replicate the lifestyle; it is to make make your road to "the end" longer, more healthful, and more enjoyable. To me that seems impossible to argue, and by that logic it's good idea to wear layers when it's cold, brush and floss your teeth, utilize modern medical care if you've been in a car accident or have a severe infection, etc. You'd have to be a moron to not do those things because they're not paleo enough. If you enjoy a beer with your dinner and you don't have any significantly nasty reactions to a little gluten, it doesn't mean the Paleo Diet is totally not for you. You'll still benefit by removing most of the other neolithic agents that contribute to modern disease...I always like to say if a kid gets beat at home, it doesn't mean his teacher should beat him too.

If your goal is health and longevity, eliminating most heavily-processed junk food can probably get you 75% of the way there. Paleo followers usually take that a various number of steps further to make up portions of the other 25%, but 100% is just not possible. As far as I'm concerned, vegans who eat mostly whole foods (no, not the ones who scoff at my shopping cart full of flesh and fill their own with vegan burritos and potato chips) probably have pretty much the same agenda as the standard "paleo," and they usually live relatively long and healthfully, too. Sure, they probably eat more fructose, linoleic acid, and gluten grains, and less branched-chain amino acids, choline, and conjugated linoleic acid, but that's why you don't see many vegans who look like Greek statues, while you can pick the "paleo" from a lineup almost every time. Sorry vegans, I appreciate you, I really do - just had get a dig in there, but I totally kind of meant it. I think it's the "glow."

***Note: The section of the article pertaining to sustainability is definitely important to consider and I suppose there's an animal rights issue, too. I can't speak much to the statistics on greenhouse gases or death to living things - I'll never claim to be an expert in ecology and there are just too many variables to consider there to even attempt to get into it. But fly over middle America and tell me all those corn, soy, and wheat fields wouldn't be fantastic grasslands for grazing ruminants, along with the millions of animals whose habitats were destroyed to plant them in the first place. Perhaps we couldn't support the current population that way, but it did support evolution for quite some time. Plus, survival of the fittest is paleo, isn't it? (That's a joke.)***

The second post was made by a friend admitting a craving of a very delicious food - this particular item is kind of non-nutritious, but certainly not the worst thing in the average American pantry - and she had tagged her personal trainer. I get it; a food addict myself, I'm assuming it's kind of like an alcoholic calling her sponsor when she feels her will is week. Either that or she was looking for him to say it's okay(he said no). Either way, understand that this girl is not metabolically deranged, has no apparent gut permeability issues, and has a body composition that she of course would like to improve but would be desired by most. My immediate reaction kind of surprised me because she and I are in the same boat there, but my only thought was just eat the freakin' thing and move on!

Nothing will ever change the fact that pancakes and syrup taste a fuck ton better than skinless chicken and rice with no salt.

I made the connection between these two posts because it really boils down to the same issue. I'll be the first to tell you there are certainly times when it's important to be strict. Certain people, such as those with Hashimoto's disease or other auto-immune disorders can have inflammatory issues with damn near ALL neolithic foods, including my beloved coffee and the nightshade family (potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, etc.). If this is you, you should probably be getting your info from someone a lot smarter than I am. Stringency can also be very important in the case of morbid obesity, or when trying to cut weight for a specific sporting event or competition. But for a majority of us with the long-term goal of health and longevity, that slice of non-paleo pizza or bowl of Frankenberry is pretty insignificant if we are eating like responsible adults the other 90% of the time. And don't underestimate the psychological nightmare of restricting oneself from everything pleasurable. I can't remember who said this to me, but the quote itself has always stuck: "Sure you can live to be 100. All you have to do is give up all the things that make you want to live to be 100." I say screw that!

Maybe this seems a little abstract, but I did make a conclusion about all of this. And I'm happy I did, because I have certainly been guilty of some adverse thinking over the years. But here's the thing: Each of us only has a specific and individual amount of free will. If you use that all up on workouts you hate and keeping your hand out of the cookie jar, you will have no more to give to the other parts of your life that need some too, like your job, family, friends, etc. Taking pride in how strict you follow Paleo means jack shit if you miss your children's football games to CrossFit or get fired for spending your workdays searching for bargain gym equipment (#Perlo. For real though, find us a Prowler!). At the same time, people who neglect their own health because of their busy work and family life are doing themselves a huge injustice too. So work hard, but be sure to make some "me time," whatever that may be. Eat mostly healthy stuff but you'd better not deny a fried Snicker's if the opportunity presents itself; Nobody is perfect, and if you don't accept that you'll only be disappointed but we can all strive to get a little closer by figuring out just how much free will we've got, and spreading that shit around. And who knows, you might just live to 100 anyway.

"Live long and prosper." - Mr. Spock

The autobiography you've all been waiting for...

Hey folks! It's been a few weeks since my last post so I hope you didn't forget about me. I won't report on my current diet and exercise program yet; I think I'm in a comfortable spot but I don't want to speak to soon. I figured I'd use this opportunity to share a brief history of my relationship with all this stuff. Maybe by reexamining where I've been, where I'm going next will work itself out for all of us.

I think I got my first real taste of weight training in 8th grade. My high school football program had just hired a new coach and his first rule was: if you're going to play JV or varsity football next fall, you're going to participate in the off-season lifting program. Of course, I had Danny DeVito's height and Justin Bieber's muscle tone back then, so there was little chance I'd be playing with the big boys the following year, but for us 8th graders, it was an optional opportunity to get a head start. So on day 1, a couple of my middle school buddies and I walked over to the 9th grade school across the street and took the bus to the high school. I hit a max squat of 175 and the rest is history...just kidding. I did successfully load 175# on the barbell and flex my legs a bit, which impressed some of the older but still very inexperienced guys, but for some reason I doubt I hit competition depth on the first day. Whatever; a seed was planted that day.

I kept lifting pretty consistently through high school; I eventually hit puberty (like junior year, was it?) and even saw some real muscles! When college came I followed the off-season workouts ran by my baseball coaches, found my ravenous appetite at the dining hall, and even bulked up to 185 pounds by my sophomore year. All I knew about nutrition that point was that "PROTEEEIIIN" was important and so drank my chalky shakes and a lot of milk, and ate everything in sight. I was pretty strong but I was carrying quite a bit more fat than I do today. I also had the worst year of my baseball career - whether those things are related I guess I'll never know, but I decided to trim up a bit over the next couple years; watched what I ate a little more closely (low-fat, duh) and continued to load up the barbell.

When my college career ended in 2009, I had a summer internship and too large of a social agenda to keep lifting. I put that fat  layer back on and appeared to lose quite a bit of muscle. When I was hired as a baseball and strength and conditioning instructor for high schoolers in October, I figured it was as good a time as any to get back into the groove. I followed Brad Pitt's Fight Club workout and drastically lowered my carb intake, and within 2 months I was close to as lean as I'd ever been and continuing to regain my strength. 

I don't know what really sparked it for me - I guess it was seeing those fast results - but right around Christmas time of that year I started reading Muscle & Fitness and the Bodybuilding.com forums and carrying multiple "meals" whenever I left the house. I played around with complex carbs a little bit over the next year or so (oatmeal in the morning!) but I maintained an irrational fear of nighttime carbs, after all, ditching those had been main driver in my success. I tried a bunch of different supplements, did my cardio, even gave my first shot to a cyclical ketogenic diet but ended up doing it wrong, since I was also afraid of saturated fat (think chicken breasts, egg whites and olive oil).

Roughly two years ago, a buddy of mine turned me on to Martin Berkhan's Leangains program. (When you're done here it would behoove you to spend at least a few minutes browsing around on his site, but be warned: the man has a handle on physiology and research methods that few others can claim and he does not hesitate to make it known).There's a pretty good chance that by now you've heard of Leangains or at least some sort of intermittent fasting, but if you haven't, here's a very brief and incomplete summary: you fast for 16+ hours a day and eat for the other 8- hours, during which you overeat (high-protein and carbs) on your 3 days of heavy lifting, and undereat (still high-protein, less carbs) on your 4 rest days.

While fasting seems to be all the rage these days, remember that at the time I was your typical Tupperware toter eating every couple of hours (Rubbermaid, actually - but "relayer" didn't sound right). So imagine my disbelief when I found a program promising leanness by skipping breakfast and stuffing your face like I did in college after every workout. That part stuck right away; I started fasting the following week and it wasn't even a difficult transition (fast forward to now and I still usually eat one or two enormous meals a day). But, there were some things about the program that just did not appeal to me. The workouts seemed appropriate - focusing on a few compound moves that you should already be doing - but too boring for someone like me. I'd always enjoyed cross-training, and Martin's program is pretty much the antithesis of any power or athletic moves. That's not to discredit the program at all, but aesthetic goals and performance goals aren't always exactly in line. In addition, there are very specific calorie and macronutrient recommendations for individual goals (bulking, cutting, etc.) and even a nifty little calculator to help you out. I never really wanted to obsessively weigh and measure my food - that just always seemed a little unreasonable to me - so I kept an 8-hour window and started eating more "healthy" complex carbs but pretty much maintained the same exercise schedule. 

This worked pretty well for a while. At some point during that year I read Robb Wolf's "The Paleo Solution." It didn't seem all that life-changing at the time; I slowly added Paleo principles in to my schedule, at least during the work week. No grains, a little less peanut butter and daily fasting coupled with a lot of heavy lifting a bunch of random stuff thrown in. My performance definitely increased; I even ran a Tough Mudder one weekend without changing my training one bit; conquered a longer distance than I had EVER run in my life (probably 2-fold) and finished in the top 5% of the sold out event.

I was loving it. I was probably in the best overall shape of my life (current status included) in the winter of 2011, but I was trying to do it all - sometimes working out in the morning, continuing to fast and lifting again at night before finally eating. Look at my blog entries from that time frame to see what I mean. It was a little nuts; I took on too much, and my performance eventually began to decrease. My first real burnout.

At that point I had basically been programming my own "CrossFit," except I avoided the things I didn't like and overtrained the things I did (as MANY CrossFitters tend to do). I figured if I let someone else do the programming for me, I'd eliminate that risk. So I joined the local box in March of last year (if you need a new gym check out NOVA - awesome people over there) and got going. I was pretty successful at the start; I had my diet dialed in (Paleo and CrossFit? No way!) and was able to give every workout my all. There was a lot more focus on conditioning than I'd been used to, and I built a pretty solid metabolic engine in just a few months. 

But then in June I traveled to Copenhagen, Denmark for my job and of course, joined a CrossFit affiliate out there. Things were done a little differently than I was used to; the gym offered classes, but they were mostly for beginners. The gym was huge and there was plenty of space for the more experienced athletes to do their own thing. So I did. I enjoyed the freedom of doing my own workouts again, and proceeded with the caution not to overtrain. I read "Never Let Go" by Dan John and it really opened my eyes to what training should be about. I actually hate doing long workouts and high reps (not to mention I've come to realize that the return on investment of doing 150 wall balls for time will never compare to 3 sets of heavy front squats with adequate rest. Personal message me if you disagree!), so I just stopped doing the traditional metcon. I did some conditioning but mostly in the form of sled and prowler stuff, and it was great.

My 10 weeks overseas was probably my favorite block of training in recent memory because I was able to train consistently hard without too much pressure of an agenda. I made personal best when it felt right, not because I planned to. But ever since I came back to the states in August I have struggled to find that balance. It's kind of been a combination of summer activities, work, the holidays, a sprained ankle, vacation, etc.; you know how it is. I haven't been too worried about it; I won't ever let myself veer to far and I'm not in markedly worse shape than I was then. I have developed my ideals about what I need to do from a physical standpoint, but now it's just time to get back on track mentally. 

So like I said, I'm doing pretty well since my last post but it's not significant enough to mention at this point. I know I left you in suspense last time, and unfortunately I'm doing it again. Sorry for that, but only like 6 people read this thing and I've gotta maintain some excitement. I will give a personal update in a few weeks, but if there's anything any of you want to see covered on here in the mean time, please feel free to let me know!

Just because.

New year; new direction; same insistence on run-on sentences, sarcasm, and adult language.

Hey all – happy new year! I know it’s been a while; to be honest I have been thinking about starting the blog back up for a while but I’ve been struggling to find an appropriate topic that would lend to more than just a single post followed by a 6 month hiatus. It is often suggested to “write what you know.” I constantly read about training and nutrition; I have written a lot of what (I think) I know in that arena right here on the blog already. So I should just keep spitting it out, right? Logic says so, but here’s the thing I started to realize over the last several months: I don’t really know shit. A few things are fairly obvious, at least to me: you should eat mostly things you could potentially hunt or gather, you ain’t squat if you don’t squat, etc.  But beyond the few fundamental truths, there’s just so much information out there that there is very little I can be sure of. Yeah, I do quite a bit of research, but who’s to say I’m different from any other know-it-all blogger type (I’m cool with open relationships) or the schmo whose column you read in SHAPE magazine? I figured Bushido was doomed. Then just a few days ago, while I was performing a set of one-legged medicine ball cleans to failure, the “miracle fat-burning raspberry ketone” (not a plug – only click if you need a laugh) ad came over Pandora radio and it hit me that there’s one thing I know for certain: everything  works.

Of course, that’s an incredibly vague statement after a clearly made up story. But that’s exactly the point! Eating nothing but donuts works…to make you fat and sluggish, and probably dumber (if those are your goals and that was you I saw at the mall last week, keep it up, you’re doing great!) All kidding aside, the point is if you make a change to be consistent with something, results over time are inevitable.

Everything works, but the degree to and direction in which something “works” depends on your goal, your baseline, and how drastic the change. If you consistently add green vegetables to every meal you’re currently eating, chances are you will generally feel better. If you replace all your meals with nothing but green vegetables, you’ll shit yourself into nothingness. Perspective. Let’s say your goal is to lose 100 pounds. Because your lifestyle is clearly not in line with that goal at this point, a minor change is all you need to start moving in the right direction. Low-fat, low-carb, vegan, Zone, spinning, CrossFit, triathlon, bench & bi’s – pick a “diet” and/or exercise regime, and watch the number on that scale drop. Even if it’s not the MOST effective means (or right for long-term health – topic for another day), a conscious change will result in some weight loss nearly every time (note: this probably does not include consciously following the donut plan – sorry; Common Sense 101 is a prereq for this course). If all you do is replace your usual bowl of breakfast cereal with a couple of eggs and park a little further from the entrance at Wegman’s, you’ll probably notice a difference in just a few weeks. Hell, I bet the raspberry keytones will actually trim you waistline a bit if you’re in rough enough shape because putting forth that effort will lead to other habits, conscious or unconscious. That’s good news for a lot of people, and great news for product sellers!

Ok, fast forward a year, during which you’ve been eating 17 bananas a day and wearing your electric ab belt religiously. You’ve lost 60 of those extra pounds, but the weight loss has slowed to a point where you’re not sure your banana diet is working anymore. You add some light running 3 mornings a week with a big ol’ glass of chocolate milk afterward because you heard it’s best for “recovery.”  After two weeks you get back on the scale to see you’ve GAINED 4 POUNDS. Maybe it’s muscle, and you suppose that would be okay, but you fear that it’s not. You replace the milk with loads of strong black coffee to keep your metabolism revving, and you lose the 4 pounds just like that, but weight loss stalls and you’re having trouble sleeping so you decide to cut down on the morning workouts. I don’t know what happens next – chances are you continue to make changes indefinitely but never seem to reach your goal. Does that sound familiar? Everything works, but you have to make changes that ultimately work FOR YOU.

I’ve been tweaking my current routine for a few years now, and have become rather comfortable with it. In short, I follow a fairly strict “Paleo” (www.robbwolf.com for info) diet Monday-Friday, estimating my intake but not strictly counting. Eighty percent is animal protein and veggies. The rest is natural fats, tubers, and the occasional fruit. I RARELY eat before 3PM, but I eat my dinner(s) out of the glass bowl that is typically reserved for mashing potatoes at Thanksgiving. I lift heavy weights 3-4 times a week along with some occasional conditioning if it feels right. I work hard in the gym and spend a lot of time in the kitchen, but this is a simple agenda for me and it leaves me some time to lend to other interests too. I make minor changes here and there, but they’re usually short-term and results are almost negligible.

While it feels pretty effortless through Friday, I seem to require a mental freedom which makes weekends a total crapshoot; sometimes I’ll get a workout in on Saturday and usually play football with the guys on Sunday, but I tend to eat what’s convenient/available for the majority of the weekend (which is almost ALWAYS things I refused to eat all week, and a lot of them), and I also enjoy a social adult beverage (or 12). When I fall off the wagon, I fall hard and don’t get back on until Monday. That’s just the way it is. If the opportunity to eat ice cream and pizza does not present itself I will stick to my meat and veggies, but that is rare these days. Hyper-palatable food is everywhere you look, and I’ve never had anyone slap the cookie out of my hand or plead with me not to go out drinking; resolve is not so easy and I think often people are relieved to see that I give in to temptation too. Misery loves company, eh?

Strangely enough I really enjoy the balance of these roles. The “all-or-nothing” approach has lent me a fairly clean bill of health, relatively low stress levels, and improved my performance in the gym while still allowing me to enjoy going out with friends and eat far more than my ration of peanut butter cups. I guess in a broad sense those things are my main goals, so am I’m having my cake and eating it too (pun intended)? Maybe, but naturally I strive to be stronger, faster, and healthier and the maintenance cake just doesn’t seem large enough to satisfy anymore. So why not just tighten up on the weekends too, dumbass? I supposed I could, but the truth is I don’t want to change too much; my mental health and social standing (not to mention taste buds) depend on this version of me. I know I’m a little nutty about this health stuff but I’m very passionate about food and drink too; holiday time got me as bad as anyone else. I just spent 5 days vacationing in the Dominican Republic and let’s just say I wasn’t drinking protein shakes, because you know what? Nobody wants to be friends with that guy, or even read his blog.

I’ve learned it’s important to sort through the legit and the bull shit – and trust me, there’s A LOT more of the latter – and by now I’ve read enough of the sciency stuff to know that the human body is more complex than “calories in vs. calories out” (hey, another certainty!). We’ve got all kinds of hormones, neurotransmitters, metabolic pathways, feedback loops, and like 25 feet of intestines (seriously, look it up). I’m not trying to become Adrian Peterson here;  I’m just looking move closer to my goals without sacrificing much of the other stuff I love. Isn’t that really everyone’s agenda? So the real question I’m asking myself (and you should do the same, regardless of your goal) is: how do I make this thing work for me and my hedonist ways? I don’t have an answer for that yet – it’s certainly not cut & dry – but damn if I’m not going to try to find out.

“Find a way, or make one.” - Hannibal